Centaurs, banshees, warlocks & all R & S fae folk: have ye accepted our Savory Resteamer, the beneficient?

Flying Spaghetti Monster into your hearts? Do so quickly, before the faux icon Rice-a-Roni ( also known as Moroni) bombards you with his little black cookbooks and sentences you to an eternity of GERD, hypertension, no booze and boring marital fidelity. With pesto and gusto, the FSM saves!